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Oct. 10th, 2007


Important! please read:

I have decided to make some changes in my life now that I have moved to tennessee. I left Sir when I moved and now it is time to really leave him and move on with my life.

I have had another blog for a while and I have decided I will now make the new blog my main one, this blog is all about my past relationship and I do not want to continue posting here.

the new blog is http://mandy333.blogspot.com/

I have a link on this page, it has been there a while but I changed the name on my link to "my new blog" feel free to read my new blog and comment on my newer entries, I have moved all my tennessee entries from this blog to the new one. I also have a myspace as well, if you have one add me! I love friends.

it took me a long time to make this decision to move on and take Sir out of my life and move on without him and it is more than just the blogs I have to change, but its time. I am a whole different person than i was when i started this blog and I can thank Sir for boosting my self confidence and my sence of adventure. I truely feel I am a better person for having met him.

I am no longer the shy, quiet, unsure, timid, and lonely girl I used to be. now I truely see I can be anything I want and I can be who I have always wanted to be. I am thankful I had this wonderful experience and sorry it couldnt have lasted but I am strong and the world is open to me and I know that no matter where life takes me I will be happy and secure in who I am. and I dont need Sir to be happy.

Oct. 4th, 2007


What I want and need from a Spanking

What I want most from a spanking is the emotions. I want to experience them all!

I want the shock of being caught in the middle of what you are doing wrong,
The instant fear of what will happen,
The anticipation of what is to come,
The dread of being called over,
The second of contemplating running and hiding,
The reluctance to do as you are told,
The embarrassment of being scolded and exposed,
The regret for doing the thing that put you there,
The knowledge that you have no escape,
The panic of realizing what is happening,
The excitement of the struggle,
The acceptance of your situation,
The shame for causing disappointment,
The remorse for what you have done,
The relief after the last slap,
The calm of knowing its over,
The release of guilt and knowledge you are forgiven,
And the love you feel from knowing someone cares.

Its this crazy rollercoaster of emotions that separates a fun spanking from a real one to me

Aug. 26th, 2007


ok, nothing to do with spanking, but oh, so fun!

16 funny things to do at Wal-mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

I am going to have to try some of these! :P

Aug. 3rd, 2007


Reasons for spankings

my friend Amanda found this online and posted it in her blogI liked it so much I decided to post it here. the URL to the site it was found on is on the bottom

1) Play
Play spankings are fun! There is laughter and even giggling. They are done gently and with not too much pain... Just some stimulation. They are mixed with teasing and tickling and rubbing and are just plain fun! They deepen a relationship, and frequently are a prelude to sex and intimacy.

2) Erotic
Erotic spankings are designed to enhance the subs sexual response, and may in fact become quite severe and genuinely painful. The pain can enhance sexual response in an experienced sub, and drive orgasm to incredible heights! This pain can be interpreted as the most exquisite pleasure, and moans and deep sexual response are common. Usually for fairly experienced players... Spankings can provide 'spice' to enhance the sexual flavor. It is a often a learned response to enjoy pain.

3) Behavior correction
Exactly like the spankings that were given when you were a child. Behavior has been unacceptable and the spanking is given as a reminder that this behavior will not be tolerated. The sub may not even have realized that the behavior was not acceptable and may feel no guilt whatsoever. (Before that is. lol) The spanking is a means of correction and control and behavior modification. It communicates the Master's disapproval.

4) Punishment
Similar to the above with the exception that something genuinely detrimental has been done... such as stealing or angry, hateful outbursts. There is scolding, the punishment is unpleasant and the spanking really hurts. The objective is to allow the sub to feel that justice has been meted out, so that forgiveness is possible. It brings closure to an unpleasant situation. Usually followed by hugs and kisses and real forgiveness. It is used to sweep the cobwebs from the relationship.

5) Guilt Therapy
Sometimes painful situations from the past have occurred which have left a sense of guilt and great sadness. The sub has no way to deal with these long past emotional hurts, and the guilt disturbs her overall sense of well being and happiness. Spanking therapy can be applied, combined with compassionate discussion and hugs. Allows her to "pay her debt" and clear her heart. Frequently requires several working sessions, but marvelous results in obtaining closure and relieving the sense of guilt have been reported.

6) Relaxation
Usually done OTK on the bed with the sub just relaxed lying over the lap. The spanking is gentle and mixed with deep massage and gentle finger strokes that bring relaxation and peace. These spankings will relieve tension and muscle tightness and leave a sense of well being and being cared for. Almost a form of massage therapy. One can spend an hour or so on this type of spanking and put the sub into a peaceful heaven with a gentle smile on her face. A good spanking is better than a Valium !

7) Bottom warming
Great for a cold, cold night. There is nothing like the warm glow of a well warmed bottom and then afterwards cuddling under the blankets to bring warmth to the heart and tingles to the posterior. Makes for a happy and warm, contented sub. :)

8) Comfort
This would seem to be a paradox... a spanking for comfort? But I have seen times where the sub has done something sad-- or has had a 'bad hair day', and just felt lonely and bad inside. (The sub may even ask for a spanking under these circumstances)...In cases like this a compassionate OTK spanking will sometimes relieve the emotional tension and make the world seem right again. The sub feels cared about and loved and finds comfort. The instruments used vary... There are so many... the hand, paddles, floggers, straps, canes.. etc. But that is the subject of another post.

From : http://disciplinedomestique.online.fr/articles/reasons.php

Jul. 27th, 2007


I found another story! (fiction 2)

now I did not write this i found it online at:


while I was just searching for stories through google but I loved this story it was soo fun to read!

Hiromi Gets Herself a Spanking

Hiromi was in trouble and she knew it. She wondered if Daddy would spank her right away or make her wait. ''Waiting is the worst!'' she thought, though in this case maybe it would be better to put it off... She didn't need to speculate, though, she'd know soon enough - she could hear a man's footsteps approaching the door. As she watched, the handle turned with what seemed like an unnatural slowness. An icy hand gripped her right in the middle of her bottom.

''Act natural,'' she told herself, which only caused her to give a nervous giggle just as her owner walked in.

''What's wrong?'' Daddy asked immediately.

''Me? Nothing! Why do you ask?''

''Just that you have a strange look on your face.'' So much for ''natural,'' Hiromi thought. Daddy continued. ''Okay, what have you done?''

''Um... nothing?''


''Yes, Daddy?''

''Come on, out with it. Now.'' He had never been all that patient in these situations and was already heading toward the bedroom. Hiromi hurried to head him off.

''It's nothing, honest. It's just that... Well, I...'' Try as she might, she couldn't think of a way to make it sound any better.

''I only smoked a little, because I was lonely,'' she said with a rush. Daddy stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to look at her.

''Hiromi Catharine! It's nothing, honest?'' he mocked in a voice of disbelief. ''It doesn't sound like nothing. It sounds a lot like smoking weed.'' Hiromi felt herself tighten at that word - it had unfortunate connotations - unfortunate for her and unfortunate for her bottom. ''We've talked about smoking weed, haven't we?'' Daddy's speech went on. ''We have a way of dealing with smoking weed, don't we, young lady?'' Every time he used the term ''smoking weed'' he might as well be saying ''spanking,'' she thought. ''Hiromi Catharine, you do know how we deal with smoking weed, don't you?'' Instinctively Hiromi's hands shot back to cover her bottom, in a way answering Daddy's question very clearly. Though that's not the answer her voice gave.

''Well, I know... but... I thought... maybe this time...

''You thought maybe this time what, young lady? That you wouldn't be spanked? That smoking weed wouldn't get you a good bare-bottomed spanking?''

Hiromi didn't want a spanking - Daddy's spankings hurt! While she was getting them they stung like mad - she was always convinced she just had to get away and never could - and they left her so sore! Not just sore, very sore - sore like when you sit down a long time later you can still feel it like you just got it, that kind of sore. And she certainly didn't want one of those - especially not on her bare bottom!

And that was exactly how her owner was going to spank her - over his knee, her head down, pajama bottoms off, bottom up, panties down, bottom bare, her creamy skin inviting his stern reproval! Daddy had never once let her keep her panties up. Quickly Hiromi's mind raced to remember what panties she'd put on, thankful that her white ones wouldn't add any to her embarrassment - having her bottom bared was embarrassing enough as it was!

Part of her wanted to run and hide, but most of her simply followed Daddy into the bedroom - the bedroom, where she was always taken to be spanked. Much as she hated getting a spanking, especially one of Daddy's spankings, she really did dislike smoking weed and really wished she could stop doing it. If having her owner spank her would stop her from smoking weed, maybe that was a good thing - if only it didn't have to be such a spanking!

Once in the bedroom, Daddy looked at her sternly as he sat on the edge of the bed, extending his legs as her soon-to-be ''resting'' place. My God, already? Hiromi thought to herself, but Daddy, instead of immediately motioning her over his lap and into place, clasped a hand on each of her arms.

''Now baby girl, I want to be fair about this, you know that, I hope. You should also know that I'm disappointed to hear about your smoking weed.'' Hiromi's spirits sunk even lower, though for a new reason now. She didn't like to disappoint Daddy. ''Very,'' he added. Maybe she really did deserve a spanking. ''I want you to tell me how this happened,'' he concluded. She tried to bow her head but with a gentle touch he raised her chin and made her look him in the eye.

''I don't know...'' was all she could think of to tell him. It would take too long to explain and not do any good anyway - but he wasn't about to settle for that.

''This smoking weed of yours, it must have had some reason. It didn't just happen, now did it? And I want you to tell me how or why it did.'' His face hardened even further. ''And you are going to tell me.''

''It's like this - I didn;t know when you would get back and I was scared.''

''I see. Hiromi?''

''Yes, Daddy?''

''Did I just hear anything that would keep me from giving you a spanking? Anything that would discourage me from giving you each and every swat of the spanking you've earned?''

''I don't know... maybe...'' she replied sullenly.

''Hiromi Catharine.''

''No. I guess not...''

''No. Nothing I heard dissuades me in the least. You, young lady, have behaved yourself into a panties-down spanking and now you are going to get it.''

Fighting off thoughts of how soon Daddy would have her creamy bare and blushing, Hiromi moved hesitantly to her owner's side and was a little surprised when he didn't immediately pull her over his waiting lap. Glancing up at his stern face, her surprise turned to dismay and she felt her stomach tighten.

''Oh no,'' she said softly, hopelessly.

''Oh yes,'' came his reply. ''You know better.''

''No, really - please? I don't need that... do I?'' This last was no more than a whisper.

''You need to learn, and the belt helps you learn. Don't make me waste my time - spanking you by hand has never changed a thing.

''Go,'' Daddy demanded and commanded.

Reluctantly - very reluctantly - Hiromi trudged off to get the belt. Retrieving it from the back of the closet, she took just a tiny moment to feel both its unfeeling undefined and her own twinge of rebelliousness - ooo, to throw it, hide it, destroy it! Now that would be satisfying! Instead, the belt would have its satisfaction on her, heating, punishing, scalding her poor helpless bottom. And if she ever did manage to do away with it, Hiromi had no doubt that Daddy would produce something even worse to deal with her current infraction and that additional one as well!

Shaking herself free of such imaginings, Hiromi and her thoughts returned to the bedroom and her owner's side, meekly proffering the demanded and dreaded belt, knowing full well that in mere moments it would be blistering her bottom, and thoroughly. Her poor little bottom! What did it ever do? It wasn't the one that had a problem with smoking weed, she was. Why should it have to suffer? It just wasn't fair!

Oblivious to these objections, Daddy still sat like a deity on the edge of the bed, waiting to tumble her over his unforgiving thighs. As he reached to take the belt from her, she pulled it back slightly.

''You'll start slowly, won't you?'' She knew she wasn't supposed to ask and he always replied with ''Is that what you deserve, young lady?'' But this once Daddy just took the belt from her and nodded sympathetically.

Seeing his reaction Hiromi realized that she must be in even more trouble than she imagined. Her whole body stiffened and shook and she couldn't keep herself from turning and trying to run away - but Daddy was too quick for her, he'd grabbed her wrist even as the belt left her hand. Before she knew it she was over his knee and the blood was rushing to her head.

Spank! He began immediately - spank spank spank spank spank!

''Ow! Oh! Wait!'' No matter how much time Daddy would take leading up to it, the first swat always startled her. Alternating stiffening and squirming, she quickly sunk into place as her owner jostled her for a better and steadier grip.

Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!

''Ow! No! Too hard!'' Hiromi protested, though really her pajama bottoms muffled the effect considerably - nearly all of this pain was caused by her own tension and apprehension. So far!

Spank spank spank spank! spank! spank!

''Ow ow ow!'' she continued, only to have Daddy chastise her further.

''Settle down, young lady - we haven't even started. I''m just getting you settled in. You can't even feel anything through your pajama bottoms.''

Spank spank spank! spank spank! spank spank!

''No, no! I feel it! I do! don't!'' Hiromi insisted somewhat nonsensically - the chance that he would stop already was non-existent.

''Shall I stop already? I thought I was doing this for you - you do know what's next, don't you?''

Ah - here was the dilemma upon whose horns Hiromi lay. To be spanked over her pajama bottoms, and therefore longer - or to shorten it a little and jump right to ''pants-down''? Or even panties-down? She made the same coward's choice she always had before.

Spank spank spank spank - spank spank spank! spank spank!

''No, no - that's okay,'' she decided immediately, and having done so found that this phase was much more tolerable. Maybe by the time he gets to my bare bottom I'll be ready, Hiromi thought. Right. And maybe his arm will wear out first - or I'll just fly to the moon!

Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!

''Owww. Owwwwww,'' Hiromi moaned softly, concluding that some sort of reaction was still in her favor. ''Hey! Wait!'' For no sooner had she resigned herself to an over-the-pajama bottoms spanking than the pajama bottoms-spanking was over! ''Stop! Not yet!''

''Oh?'' Spank spank spank spank!!! ''Haven't had enough yet? I thought you were in a hurry!'' Spank spank spank spank!!! Hiromi's owner saw to it that these final swats before her pajama bottoms deserted her made all the more of an impression.

''OW! Geez!'' She twisted around in an attempt to see if he was still using his hand - it seemed harder than ever! All she managed to see was Daddy removing her first line of defense. He slid the pink fabric off her bottom, revealing her white panties.

Spank spank spank spank!!! Haaaaah, Hiromi thought.

''Haaaaaaah!'' Hiromi said. She had thought of her pajama bottoms as sort of insubstantial it but had been giving her more protection than she realized - now with nothing between his hand and her thin panties his every spank stung and stung to high heaven! Spank spank! spank spank! spank spank spank! spank spank spank!

''Owwwwooooooo? Oww? Ow, ow?'' In her mind Hiromi questioned if Daddy really needed to spank her quite this completely.

Picking up on this, her owner didn't hesitate. ''If you didn't want this spanking, young lady, you shouldn't have been smoking weed,'' he decreed, his logic unassailable. Like she hadn't thought of that! ''You know what smoking weed gets you - maybe next time you'll have an easier time deciding what you really want!''

''Grrrr,'' Hiromi grrrr'd - quietly.

Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank! spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!

''Ow oh ow oh ow ow ow!''

From long experience Daddy knew just what he was doing. Half or more of his spanks landed where her panties had ridden up due to her unflattering position. Not only did they sting all the worse, they were those same low spots Hiromi already knew she'd feel long afterward. How was she ever supposed to sit again?

Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank! On they went, like partners volleying on a tennis court - except that her soft bottom was no match for her owner's hard hand, and in this match she was being soundly beaten! And the sounds of that beating were Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank!

''Oh oh please,'' she protested - a lot of these spanks should count as panties-down! Not that they would, and not that she thought otherwise for even a moment. Nonetheless Hiromi felt that some sort of protest was called for. Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! Ooooo, Daddy knew just how to make her feel those! And Hiromi's poor little bottom did - each and every one!

Then quickly a lot more protest was very much called for!

''Oh no - really - no, please, no. Please?'' Her owner had stopped spanking long enough to pluck at the waistband of her panties - and she did not want them down! She grabbed them herself and held on tightly. ''Not those - they don't make a difference anyway,'' she claimed, fibbing slightly - though she was always surprised what a difference they did make. One by one, Daddy peeled her fingers from her white panties. And then they were gone.

Spank! spank! Her creamy cheeks, only slightly colored by his gradual chastisement, were now fully under his hand - and eyes. Hold still! she told herself, wanting to minimize any jiggling or inappropriate exposure - try to hold still!

Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!

Maybe kicking and squirming was a better approach after all!

Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!

Suddenly he was in a hurry, a man with a mission. Now that he had her bare bottom in sight and squarely in his sights, he wanted it sore and stinging - both, a lot, and right now!

Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!
Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!

Couldn't Daddy hear her at all? Nothing seemed to slow him down! Just as she thought her poor little bottom would burst into flames, her owner's grip tightened! Her stomach followed suit as Hiromi recognized the meaning of this gesture!

''Oh no! No! No! OW! OH!'' His spanks rained down so much harder without slowing down at all. Her kicking and struggles became furious, but the harder she fought, the harder he spanked!

Spank! Spank!


Spank! Spank!


''OW OH OH OH OW OH OH!'' she cried. When, oh when, would this be over? And then, with frightening abruptness, it was!

''Now, young lady, it's time we took care of this smoking weed,'' Daddy pronounced.

Oh no! The belt - smack smack smack smack smack smack smack! By the time she realized what was about to happen her belt spanking was already well underway! Instantly the warmth of his hand was replaced by the sting of the belt's leather. Oooo, did that hurt! Hiromi could never remember quite how much until she was feeling it - but as soon as she felt it she could remember - remember all too well!

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No, no - stop! Enough! I'll be good! I promise! Oh owwwwww...''

''Hiromi Catharine! Your smoking weed? This is most certainly NOT enough, except that it's enough out of you. Now hold still. You know you've earned this - and more. If you're good you'll get a lot less of the ''more.''''

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

Try as he might to be ''fair,'' when it came to smoking weed her owner was strict. That belt HURT!

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No, no, not more - please, not more. Ow oh ow oh ow...''

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No - no please! I'll be good! I've learned my lesson - I have!'' As well she may have - her usually creamy cheeks shone from the belt's harsh leather.

''Then hold still, baby girl, so I can finish.'' And finish he did. With a flurry of smack-smack-smack's he made sure she'd have no place to sit, not for a good long time. Then the hardest yet, right in the center - smack smack smack smack smack smack! Even as Hiromi recognized these as his final spanks she could take no relief as the barrage drove her past all limits of ''taking it.''

''Whaaa - aaa - ow - oooo - ooo - ooo - ooo - NO!''

''Okay, Hiromi. Okay, baby girl. Breathe. Now breathe...'' Daddy encouraged. As slowly as it had begun it just as suddenly ended. Slowly Hiromi calmed down and her breathing did steady a bit.

''Now, young lady - no more smoking weed - understood?'' Somehow Hiromi nodded her acquiescence. And as she returned the belt to the back of the closet, she never wanted to have anything to do with smoking weed, the belt, or even her owner sitting on the edge of the bed - ever, ever again!


Matt Anglen - 2004


Jul. 16th, 2007


my great day! ^_^

Well Sunday morning I woke up at 8am. I woke up pretty easily and just in time to see my mom headed out the door to go to Florida for a couple days to go to some doctors appointments. I said goodbye to her and took a shower then I got dressed only to realize the under skirt of my skirt was wrinkled so I ran down the stairs to turn on the iron and went upstairs and did my hair then ran back down to iron then up to do my makeup, lol, a normal hectic morning. Then I headed out the door in my black shirt and fluffy pink skirt with black strappy heels.

I drove about 5 min before I realized I forgot the map. I am a very forgetful person. so I turned around and got it then headed out again, this time I made it to the highway when I realized I forgot my jewelry, but I said, "screw it!" and went without! It was a nice drive I had my sunglasses on and my radio blaring, I had a great time! I got there at almost exactly 11am and Cookie called me and told me which garage they were in, but I had just past it and it was a one way street so I had to go around and find it again Cookie and Thomas went to the top of the garage and waved to me as I passed so I found it, hehe.

Well I went inside and parked my car on the third level and got out and went over to the elevator/entrance and waited for them that’s when I saw Lynne, I recognized her right away, though I did not know she was in a wheel chair, but that didn’t bother me in the least, surprised me a little, but she is cool! So I waited with her for Cookie and Thomas to come. They got there and both gave me hugs right away, I felt as if I had known them my entire life!

Then we went in the food court entrance and ordered something to eat. We talked a lil while we ate and enjoyed ourselves. When we were done eating we walked into the mall, the ground was an old street and I looked up and it looked as if we were under a bridge and I said so, but Thomas insisted it was stores on top of it. Then we got to the end of the hall where there was a giant fake train engine and a spot to take city view photos. That’s when Thomas decided to go back to the car for his camera, and he told the three of us that we were to wait right where we were and stay together.

Well, being the 3 cute mischievous angels we were, we decided to hide behind the photo backdrops until he came back just to see how long it would take him to find us, hehe!
Well, it backfired because when Lynne saw him coming and came closer, she didn't realize he saw her too! So we were all looking out one side waiting for him to come and he snuck up behind us! We all just giggled and he gave us a look! So we told him we were looking at the train and just ended up back there, lol, he didn’t believe that for even one second, but he let it slide.

So we walked down to the other end of the hall and stopped and looked in some of the kiosks and stores along the way, Cookie and I looking at every piece of jewelry we saw and Lynne and all of us looking at all the key chains, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and magnets we saw looking for the brattiest statements, hehe! We passed a stair well at one point and when you looked down into it there was a black curtain hanging there, I decided it must be a hidden magic curtain and Cookie agreed, Thomas didn’t believe us though. And we passed a pressed penny machine which I had to stop at because I collect those!

Then we went outside to a small courtyard where Thomas wanted pictures of us. I am picky when it comes to pictures of me, so I hated that idea, but when I asked if I had to take the photo, he gave me that look again, Cookie and Lynne started cracking up, so I said I'd take the photo. Then I added, I'll just cover my face. The look I got then! I immediately said I won't cover my face and then went and stood behind Cookie.

So he told the 3 of us to go to the fountain for the picture, Cookie and I tried to hide behind Lynne's wheel chair, but of course that was not allowed and Thomas walked over and posed us. After 2 pics that way he had Cookie take a pic of me and him together then I sat on the edge of the fountain and waited while they adjusted the flash and he took a pic of me there! So then we went back inside and went through more stores and we found a window sign for the car that said, "Bad girls need a good lickin!" with the "L" made of a tongue, it was cute, and Thomas had to get it, lol.

Then we looked around the rest of the floor and then took the elevator up to the next floor, which was ground level and outside, that’s when I pointed out to Thomas that I was right! It was a street above our heads not stores, lol, I got that look again. So we walked down to the ice cream place and all ordered something I got a mint chip cone, my fav! And we sat inside and talked a bit and we were talking about the flat tire he got and how it ruined his original plans and I said, yeah live got in the way, and he had to argue that a blown tire isn’t part of life, which I replied, "its part of yours now!" the look I got then threw all three of us girls into a huge giggle fit. I apologized through my laughter; I can't seem to help saying these things! It's like word vomit! It comes out before I can stop myself!

Then we sat outside for a sec so Cookie could have a cigarette. We walked around a lil looking at the little kiosks around us and one lady gave Lynne free shea butter but she didn't want it and handed it to me. Cool! Then we went back into the mall and we were all like, no what? So I said maybe there is something else to do so we look at a brochure for Atlanta and decided to go to either the coca cola factory or the aquarium. So we got in our cars and took off and drove to the other parking garage, after parking we realized the aquarium is far too expensive and we went down to Lynne who was parked in the handicap area and we sat and tried to figure out what to do, and I said why did we even leave in the first place? And Thomas gave me that look and said, excuse me! It was you who said there has to be something else to do! I said, yeah, but ya'll followed it! Then he gave me a look that made me hide behind Cookie again.

So we decided to all get in Lynne's van and go back to the mall that way we wouldn’t have to waste the money moving our cars again, before we left though, Thomas decided to get his "toy" bag out of his car and bring it down and we were to wait in the car and no locking him out of it! Lol, so we giggled and talked of doing just that, but we were good.
Then we all rode back to the underground mall and accidentally parked in a different garage this time but it worked.

We had to walk through the mall this time to get to the food court on the way we passed the toy cart where there was this absolutely annoying toy which was a babbly noisemaker on one end, a whistle on the other, and bubbles in the middle, all three of us girls went for them, Lynne actually opened on and blew bubbles with it, so Thomas felt obligated to buy it, which I managed to get him to let me keep it in my purse. So we went back up to the food court and got drinks and sat at a table, Cookie and Lynne kept taunting Thomas with straw wrappers, which apparently is a pet peeve to him do to brats blowing the wrappers on him. So that was amusing!

Then we went to the restroom where I gave Cookie the toy for her purse hehe. And then we walked around the mall just a bit. At one point I was lagging behind with Lynne and she was trying to tell me something but I didn’t hear her, but Thomas hear her whispering behind him and he went and talked to her and Cookie and I went ahead and watched. More then decided to go back to the van so Thomas could show his toys off before it was time for them to leave for Florida. So we went back to the car and drove all the way up to one of the deserted upper floors and parked in the middle and opened the car doors. Lynne's van is a handicap one so there was no middle row for chairs that was where her wheel chair went there was just a back row, and Lynne's chair turned so she could face us, cookie and I sat in the back row.

Then he got out his bag and went through every item showing them all to me, at one point Cookie got out for a cigarette, so she stood behind him as he was showing me the implements and she was making cute faces and doing lil dances behind his back, which Lynne pointed out to Thomas as revenge for us going ahead in the mall when Thomas was talking to her, so he would turn around and she would play innocent it was soo funny! Then he made her get back in the car so he could keep an eye on her, then he used this lil whippy thing he has and used it all up and down Lynne's arms leaving lil welts coating her arm, she didn’t seem to mind at all! Then he took pics of her arms.

Then he convinced Cookie to let him spank her and she finally gave in and it was cute because she kept making cute faces at me, he spanked her with his hand over her jeans for a bit and he even pulled down her jeans and spanked her more and when he would pause she would ask if he was done yet, which was so funny because we had used that phrase in the myspace group as things you shouldn’t say to your top, so he grabbed a paddle and made her count backwards from ten and spanked her till she was red, and took photos.

Then she got back up and was sitting on the floor and I was out standing and we were talking for a while, while Thomas still sat on the back row, I decided I had to sit, I was in heels all day! So I took the only seat open, right next to Thomas, on his left side. So I sat there and we were talking about safe words and if I knew them, which of course I do, yellow to slow down, red to stop. Then we were just talking again and Cookie was saying that his hand spankings do not hurt much, which thomas replied, "my hand hurts!" which is when I said, "oh, did you bruise it?" then I got a look again, hehe.

But this time I got more than just the look he grabbed my by the hair and tried to pull me over his lap, but I resisted. He said all I have to do if I really don’t want it is safe word out, I was not going to. But I was not going to make it easy for him I stayed and struggled against him, he got me to move to the other side of the back seat so I was on his right side instead and he continued trying to get me over his lap and I fought it for all I could, hehe he did manage to get me over his knee though and in such a way I couldn’t get away!

I still tried my best but he had me pinned! My skirt flew up during the struggle and he started spanking me with his hand and asked Cookie to hand him a hairbrush when he said that I almost got away, but he pulled me back, luckily she couldn’t find it and handed him a paddle instead the first hit with that got my attention, the second actually made me say yellow, then Lynne handed him a strap and he used that and I would kick my feet and he hit my calves with the strap, that made me hold still… for a second. All 4 of us were giggling the entire time, it was very silly.

Then he decided to make me count 10 hits with the paddle, and say thank you, please spank me harder after each count! What a sadistic man! And when I said it after the last hit he took it as permission to continue spanking! *sigh* hehe. Finally he was done and we were both sweaty and breathing hard and still laughing, then he took some pics and then we practically ran out of the van though to get air! And we continued laughing, that’s when Cookie thanked me for tiring him out so she would be "safe" on the ride home with him hehe.

Then it was time to go back to our car, we all got in the van and Lynne drove us to the parking garage where our cars were and she dropped us off we then walked up to our cars and Thomas wanted me to try the carpet beater so I agreed and stood as he wanted me too, and let me tell you, that thing hurts! Lol he did two hits, and it was the kind of sting that grows as you stand there. Then we talked a bit more and then it was time for our goodbyes and we all got into our cars and were on our way. I laughed the entire way home, but I realized something, lace panties hurt when you have a red bottom! When I got home an hour and a half later I looked in the mirror and my bottom was still red! I loved it! I still have a smile on my face!
blueyellow sunset

plans never stay the same

Well as I mentioned before I was going to spend a day with my online friends in Atlanta. The day was planed for Saturday and I convinced my mom that it was fine for me to go because I said I met Cookie ahead of time so she agreed and she gave me a full tank of gas and $10 just in case money so I could go.

Well the plan was I was going to meet Thomas and Cookie in the parking garage of the underground mall at 10 am on Saturday morning and then we were going to spend the day together before Cookie and Thomas had to leave to get their hotel and go to their spanking party that night.

Well the Thursday before Cookie told Thomas she wouldn’t be able to go due to a family emergency. And Thomas was disappointed but understood, and because I did not want to meet him alone he invited his other bottom Lynne along instead, and that was a good idea, I would be more comfortable if there were others around. so it was set, 10am on Saturday morning, Thomas, Lynne and I would meet in the underground mall.

The next morning, Friday morning, Cookie decided she will come after all because she needed the vacation; I was thrilled I was soo looking forward to meeting her! And so, the plan was changed slightly again. Now it was at 10am Saturday morning, Thomas, Cookie, Lynne and I would all meet at the underground mall.

well that evening I was online planning to go to bed early since I had to wake up early and Cookie IMs me and tells me Thomas got a flat tire on his way to pick her up. And there is no way to get a tire at that time of night, believe me, Cookie and I both searched everywhere online. so Cookie went and picked up Thomas and they would have to wait until the morning to leave and it is a 7hr drive up so we would have to change the plans again this time the plans were changed to Sunday at 10am Thomas, Cookie, Lynne, and I would all meet at the underground mall.

So I decided I would stay up late and read Thomas's blog. Well 6am rolled around before I realized it and the sun was coming up so I went to bed. The next day I woke up went about my day as normal, read a book, helped me mom with our flowers, watched a movie, went on the computer, went out and got everyone dinner. then later I got a call from Lynne saying the mall wont open till 11am on a Sunday, so the planes changed for the last time, at 11am Sunday morning Thomas, Cookie, Lynne, and I would meet at the underground mall. :P

joining! ^_^

I joined a BDSM group from the Chattanooga area! it was cool, I friended a girl called kitty on livejournal when I cam across her livejournal page, I loved reading it so I added her and the next day I got an IM from her saying she was the moderator of a local group and she saw I lived in the area and she asked me to join, so of course, I jumped at the chance! Then she told me of an upcoming bowling night the group was planning so I had to go!

now the only obstacles in my way were how to tell my mother where I am going, since I moved back in with her when I moved here and she likes to know where I go that way if I don’t come home she will know where to start the search. also she is quite against me meeting people online, she doesn’t realize I know the safety rule and would never put myself in danger. And the other obstacle is money, since I have no job yet.

So over the next 2 weeks I casually dropped hints that I met a girl online and she and her friends were going to go bowling and they invited me. (It's not a complete lie!) So she warmed up to the idea. Also some spanko friends I have been talking to online, one for almost a year were coming to Atlanta, which is an hour and a half from my house and they wanted me to meet up with them the weekend they come in at the underground mall. So I told my mom that a friend from Tampa (which is a place in Florida I was always at when I lived in Orlando) was coming into Atlanta to visit her boyfriend Thomas and wanted me to meet them. She was ok with this idea because I "knew" one of them. So she offered me gas money for both occasions.

So then the day of the bowling night came, I was soo excited! so I got ready early and had to wait around and my mom gave me $5 for a drink while I was there, I wasn’t planning on playing because of my financial situation but I wanted to go and meet them! She also took the address for the place and the first and last name of a person I was going to meet there. And when I told Lori where I was going she made me promise to call her periodically though the night so she knew I was safe and she had me set up a safe call with her Dom. It's nice I have so many people who care so much about me, but it's so annoying! Lol! But I will never go without those steps, I know my safety rules.

So I drive down there and I was the first one there. but soon one of the people from the group that I had previously met cam in and I recognized him right away the two of us talked a bit and then kitty came in and more people, and introductions all around it was cool. I met rose, a real cool girl who was instantly like able and a few other people and we sat and talked a bit then when everyone was there kitty and all playing went and got their shoes and paid for their games.

while they played I got to know more about rose and the others who were sitting out and we all walked over to the bar where there were horrible karaoke finalists singing, so we went back out, kitty passed out taffy and shared her fries with me, then my friend who I met first when I cam in said he was getting tired of playing and offered me his last game to play, which of course I did!

So he traded his shoes for some that would fit me and I played horribly! I had only 3 points by the start of the 4th frame but I managed to end with a great bowling score of 59! Yay! So then it was time for everyone to head home, sad, but all good things have to end sometime. Then I called my mom and Lori told them I was on my way home and I headed out, I can't wait for the next event!

Jun. 23rd, 2007



well sisnce the move nothing has really happened lifestyle wise. I have been looking for a job with no luck, and I have been walking almost every day for 6-miles a day. I figure I need to get back to losing weight so I can boost my self confidence and feel beter about myself until I can find someone new for me. Sir and I are still close I call him every night to get tucked in. I dont have any friends here yet, but I an a very optimistic person so I know I will soon. but while nothing is happening I decided i will post stories I find online that are similar to what I am looking for and hoping to get out of my BDSM life. so this firdt story i found on my friend's myspace blog. I read it almost a year ago and cant get it out of my head, it just sounds almost perfect to me.

It always begins differently. Sometimes with an e-mail, sometimes with a phone call. And often there is no warning at all.
Like tonight.

I return home from work a little after 8 pm, later than I'd planned, arms filled with groceries, feet aching from a long day spent on my feet. Distractedly I'm thinking about unpaid bills and the depleted state of my chequing account. There always seems to be something to worry about, and lately I've felt so stressed and pre-occupied, my stomach always in knots. It's been more difficult than I'd imagined, working full time and going back to school. And now I'll have to worry about repaying student loans, too.

Juggling the bags of groceries in one arm, I unlock and open the front door, kicking off my shoes in the hallway, sighing in relief. Once I reach the kitchen I dump the paper bags on the counter, then massage my aching back. Home at last. All I want to do is take a shower and go to bed. Early.
"Michele Marie?" I hear these words and feel flooded with warmth and relief. I will not be alone tonight.

Wandering from the kitchen down the hall, I find him in the living room, reading the newspaper. I drop exhaustedly on the couch, propping my feet on the coffee table, leaning my head on a broad, comforting shoulder. Closing my eyes, I snuggle into his warmth.

"How's my little girl?" he asks, carefully folding the newspaper and putting it aside.

"Frustrated. Tired." I mumble. "Exhausted." I amend my statement. "Nothing's been going right." And now I want nothing more than to be held.

"Come here, pumpkin," he urges me, pulling me onto his lap, hugging me tight.
For the next few minutes I rest in his arms as he rocks me back and forth, feeling his warmth sink into my tired body. And as he embraces me and strokes my hair, I start to feel young and small, enveloped and protected by his size and strength and love for me. I shudder, suddenly on the verge of tears.

"It's okay, honey," he reassures me. "Daddy's here."

It's hard for me to admit to needing someone. I hate feeling vulnerable and have a lot of trouble asking for help of any kind. And, oh, the fights we had about this topic. Over and over. About my refusal to acknowledge feeling scared and needy, sometimes. Arguments about my inability to admit to my mistakes. Conflict about my fear that the little girl in me would scare him away. Until the night I came home and he greeted me with my full name: "Michele Marie." The night I came home to Daddy.

When he's my Daddy I can let him take care of me; I don't have to pretend to be strong when I'm feeling weak, I don't have to feign the self-control and independence that is sometimes a burden. With Daddy I feel like a little girl again- young in my skin, free of responsibility. For a while I can be the child who needs protection and guidance; I can admit my faults. I can be the girl who needs her Daddy's loving discipline.

"I think my baby needs a bath," he decides, and I nod obediently, eager to soak in a tub full of hot water. I rise from Daddy's lap, and with a hand at my back he guides me towards the bathroom.

Daddy starts to run the water, adjusting the temperature carefully, and I begin to disrobe, unbuttoning my blouse. "No, honey." His voice is gentle but firm. "Let Daddy undress you."

Passivity can be such a release. It feels so good to be acted upon, rather than act. To wait, trustingly and expectantly, for Daddy to recognize my needs and take care of them. This is one of the gifts Daddy gives me.

Standing in front of him I avert my eyes as his hands complete the task of unbuttoning my blouse, then slide it off my shoulders and down my arms. Obediently I turn around at Daddy's command, and he unhooks my bra, slipping the straps off my shoulders. As I turn back again to face him I blush a little, knowing that Daddy can see my breasts and small brown nipples. Protectively I cross my arms across my chest, but he reprimands me: "Hands at your side, sweetheart."

"Yes, Daddy." When I'm a little girl my voice is higher, softer, melodious. I don't know how this happens, but the change is natural and unforced, and I am not conscious of it when it occurs, though Daddy has commented on the transformation.

Nervously I let my hands fall to my sides. It's embarrassing to be naked in front of Daddy, though I'm very casual about my body with Jess. Daddy's touch, though, is asexual as he unzips my skirt and lets it puddle at my feet. I start a little and squirm when I feel Daddy's hands at the waistband of my panties, and he gives me a gentle swat on my bottom- "don't fidget, pumpkin."

Daddy tugs down my panties leisurely and I try not to wriggle as my underwear descends, exposing my backside, thighs and soft thatch of hair. When the panties reach my feet I kick them off, eager to be in the bathtub and to hide my nakedness. I clench my legs tightly together, feeling shy and awkward.

"Spread your legs, honey," He bids me.

"Daddy," I protest, my voice soft and embarrassed.

A sharp spank reminds me to obey my Daddy, and reluctantly I shuffle my feet apart.

"Open your eyes, Michele Marie." His voice is very quiet. Daddy never yells.

I meet his gaze, see the admiration and love that I need. "Daddy's girl is growing into such a beautiful woman." I glow at this praise, bask in the words I never heard when I was a young girl and needed to hear them.

Daddy's fingers tug at the sparse hair that hides my cleft. "Maybe we should shave this, eh?" When I blush awkwardly, he grins and decides, "maybe next time."

"Into the tub, pumpkin." Once again Daddy gives my backside a swat, and with a shy smile I climb into the water, sighing gratefully as I sink into the hot water.

Our Daddy play has many rules- most of them never articulated. Together we intuited them. When he calls me "Michele Marie," I know that it is safe for me to be a little girl, time for Daddy to appear and take all control from me. And I give it up gratefully. When I am his little girl he uses endearments that adult Michele would scoff at- pumpkin, sweetpea, princess. But as a little girl I don't bristle at these diminutives; instead, they make me feel comforted, safe, loved. I've never told Daddy this, but he understands very clearly how good these affectionate words make me feel, and almost every sentence he utters either begins or ends with an endearment. And it seems very natural for me to call my lover Daddy in these moments.

Leaning back against the tiled wall of the shower I close my eyes, sinking into the heated water, feeling my muscles slowly relax.

For a few minutes Daddy lets me rest in the tub, and we talk quietly about this week's frustrations: a demanding boss, unpaid bills, lack of time to write, lack of time with him. I feel defeated and shamed by my weakness and failures, weary under the weight of so many obligations. Again I feel tears springing to my eyes, and Daddy suggests, "sit up, honey. Daddy will wash your hair for you."

This is one of our favourite rituals. Pulling my knees up to my belly I wrap my arms round my legs, my head drooping like a broken-stemmed flower as Daddy pours warm water on my hair, his hand stroking away the wet strands as they fall against my face. I smell the scent of the baby shampoo, and as he begins to lather my hair, fingers kneading my scalp and hairline, the tightness in my throat, the knot in my belly, dissolve. Daddy's ministrations are so gentle and loving and I sigh as he massages my neck and shoulders, the shampoo sliding off my hair and dissolving in the water, foamy and iridescent.

With the shower attachment Daddy rinses away the lather, his long fingers running through my hair, ensuring that no shampoo remains. This touch feels so good. Relaxing. Loving. I wish that I could let him take care of me more readily; frequently I accept this tenderness with too little grace, I fear. But my Daddy is patient with his little girl. Slowly I am learning that this gift comes with no obligation or cost to me.

"Daddy's going to wash you now, pumpkin." I nod silently, and lean back against the wet tiles as he begins to scrub me, the terry cloth brisk beneath strong hands as Daddy kneels beside the tub. I extend my arms and he washes each one, lingering over each finger, his thumb pressing into my palms. Daddy dwells a little on my neck and shoulders, hoping to relax me. Then the face cloth passes across my breasts, rubbing the underswell, teasing my nipples, and my face grows hot as they harden beneath Daddy's fingers. He chuckles in amusement, and my embarrassment increases.

"Hands and knees, honey. Daddy needs to clean you everywhere."

Momentarily I feel a sense of shame and resistance, and I shake my head.

"Michele Marie." The warning is there, in Daddy's voice, and reluctantly I pull myself upright, the tub slippery and hard beneath my knees, my arms braced on the edge of the tub, my bottom resting on my heels.

Once again Daddy soaps the face cloth, then begins to scrub my back. His touch is brisk, but still arousing, and my hips arch to greet his hand as the cloth makes its way downwards.

And now Daddy abandons the washcloth and soaps his hands, and I wait, expectant, knowing what comes next.

Daddy knows what I need; he knows because I told him. For the longest time my hours with him were chaste. Then, one night I came home to a note on my desk: "tell me how you want Daddy to touch you." I cried for an hour, frightened to record the desires and fantasies that had shamed me for so long, sure that when I faced my lover I would see disgust or contempt. I cloaked my desire in euphemism, but still he understood. And Jess accepted what I needed; welcomed it. He showed me the grace that lay behind my shame. Showed me the pleasure that makes me whole.

And so I arch my back and present my bottom, welcoming Daddy's hands as they soap my buttocks, massaging the rounds of my flesh. My breath comes shallow and fast as a soapy finger glides down the furrow dividing my cheeks, and I moan as Daddy rubs teasingly at my anus, round and round, pressing gently, patiently. "Daddy needs to clean you everywhere," he reminds me, and I feel the tight muscle loosen and relax. The tip of his finger eases inside my bottom, moving slowly back and forth, the penetration shallow at first. I feel girlishly virginal and tight, both embarrassed and excited by this penetration.

"That's it, honey," he urges. "Open up. Let Daddy's finger inside. Let Daddy get you nice and clean." I moan at these words, feeling tears come to my eyes as the finger slowly penetrates me to the hilt.

As Daddy's finger squirms and twists in my anus, his other hand slides down my belly, through the thatch of my pubic hair, fingers searching for my bud. He rubs steadily, using the ball of his thumb to press at the side of my clitoris as his middle finger eases inside my sex. My ass opens to take Daddy's finger deeper, and I clasp the edges of the tub as I move closer and closer to orgasm, my hips rocking back and forth against the hands that pleasure me.

My arousal in these moments is that of a greedy child. I have no responsibility for my pleasure, or Daddy's. No needs exist beyond my own, and I delight in my selfishness and Daddy's insistence on it. He has created a space in which I am free to once again be a little girl, discovering her body and its appetites with delight and embarrassment. Only now I feel no shame, for Daddy is here, giving me this gift of pleasure, telling me that these sensations are good and right.

"That's it pumpkin. That's Daddy's good girl. Let it come, honey. Let Daddy make you feel good."

These words free something inside me; Daddy has granted me permission to accept the pleasures of my body, and I surrender gratefully, shuddering against his hands as my orgasm ripples through me, strong and pure.

Slowly Daddy pulls his finger from my rectum, giving the whorls of my rosehole a teasing tickle before he urges me upright. "Bathtime's over, sweetheart. Let's get you dried, hmmn?"

With a big, soft towel Daddy dries me off, his capable hands lingering over my breasts and sex. I balance on one foot, my hands on his shoulders, while Daddy kneels and makes sure my legs and feet are dry, too. Daddy is always thorough.

"Now, pumpkin, I want you to go to your room and put on your nightgown. Daddy will join you in a little while, and we'll have our talk."

Wrapping the towel tightly around my body I scamper from the bathroom, a sharp spank from Daddy hurrying me on my way.

Laid across the bed is a special nightgown, one I only wear on the nights Daddy takes care of me. It's made of soft, white cotton and is full length, the hem brushing my ankles when I wear it. 50 buttons run the length of the nightgown, finishing demurely at a rounded neckline. The gown lies on the bed unbuttoned, and it's one of our rituals that I slide on the nightdress and slowly button it, thinking of my bad deeds and failures with each one. In my more adult moments I think of the buttons as an obscene rosary, this bedroom my confessional.

Once I've put on the nightgown and thought about my sins, I lie across the bed to wait for Daddy. I slide the gown up past my hips, exposing my bottom, rosy and soft from my bath. A pillow under my tummy ensures that my backside is properly arched and presented for Daddy's hand and belt. Stretching out my arms and legs, I sigh, my stomach tight with fear and expectation.

Soon, Daddy will join me. He will sit beside me on the bed, stroking my bottom as I confess the naughty deeds that beset my guilty conscience. Perhaps I will admit to masturbation, and Daddy will inspect my sex, searching for wetness and desire. Maybe I will reveal that his finger in my bottom makes me feel squirmy and good, and he will use a bottom pacifier to remind me of my naughty thoughts.

Once my confession is complete, Daddy will begin to spank me. And he will not spank me as a lover would, although there will be tenderness and compassion in my punishment. This spanking is not for my pleasure, and it will not arouse me. No, Daddy will spank me hard and fast, ignoring my protests and distress no matter how real they may be.

Because Daddy understands me; he knows that I need to feel cleansed, both in body and spirit. He understands that now and then I need to feel like a little girl whose bottom pays the penalty for her naughtiness. Sometimes this is the only way that grownup Michele can be released from the failures and mistakes that haunt her. So Daddy's belt will mark me, and I will try to escape the hand that pins me down, until tears flow. Tears of repentance. Tears of release. I will cry away my shame and failure; I will release the bitterness and fear it is so hard for me to articulate. Daddy will spank me until I am exhausted beyond struggle, until he knows that I am free of shame and guilt. Daddy will spank me until I feel like a good little girl.
And after the spanking Daddy will rock me in his arms, his voice strong and consoling as he praises me for my honesty and bravery. Daddy will wipe away my tears and reassure me that he loves me, no matter what. And perhaps I will sob again, then, though my tears will no longer be bitter, but a reflection of my love and sense of safety.

Perhaps Daddy will reward me, then, his hand working between my thighs as he shows me the pleasure that is the due of all good girls. Sitting in Daddy's lap I will smile up at him as he makes me feel good, radiant in his love and protection. And after I am satisfied and feeling sleepy, Daddy will tug down my nightgown and put me to bed, kissing me softly on my forehead. I'll lie face down on the sheets, my bottom aching and sore from my punishment. As I slowly drift off to sleep, Daddy will rub my backside and call me his good girl. I will sleep soundly, all the stresses of my adult life banished for the moment.

Tomorrow I will awaken, and we will be Jess and Michele again; partners, lovers, equals. And perhaps it will be a little easier for me to share my fears and failures with him. Perhaps I will resent my weakness less. I just don't know, though I hope that the wall that sometimes divides us will have crumbled, if only a bit.
What I do know is that my Daddy loves me. And he will always be there when his little girl needs him. Nothing I need will ever scare him away.

Jun. 12th, 2007


I'm back and its a long entry!

Ok, I know I haven't written in my journal in a long time and I am sorry, but I haven't really had a chance to sit down at a computer and just write. My boss wanted to cut my pay down to $250 a week for 65 hrs of work so I quit. And when I quit I had to take down my computer until after my move, and I stayed at Sir's house. he has a computer, true, but he kept me so busy with chores while he was working that I didn't have much time to go on it, I had some time once in a while to go on myspace but that’s about it but now that I have moved to Tennessee and am living with my mother and as of yet have no job, I have time to catch it all up.

I guess I'll start at the beginning. My boss came to talk to me and told me that she couldn't afford to pay me $500 a week anymore. She said that she didn't make as much money with her new location for doing taxes as she thought she would have. she promised she would cut back my hours as well to make it even, so I told her ok, I'll think about it, she promised to keep my pay the same for 2 more pay days so I had a week and a half.

It sounded nice at first to me, I mean, she didn't know it yet but I was moving in 6 weeks anyway. I just haven't told her yet. So I new I wouldn’t be able to get another job, plus I would have more personal time to spend with my friends before the move. Then she gave me the new schedule. She wanted me to work Mondays and Wednesdays from 6:30am to 5 pm, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:30 am to 3 pm, and Fridays and Saturdays from 6:30 am to 8:00 pm + overnight, and I'd have every Sunday off. Well I sat down and figured out the hours for that and it would be 65 not including the overnight. Then I figured what I used to work and it was 68 1/2 hours not including overnight. That’s when I realized she wanted to cut my pay in half for only 3 1/2 hours less work! She would be completely taking advantage of me! I tried to talk to her about it but she wouldn’t listen to me so I left her a note saying that I understand her money situation but I will not work for $3.85 an hour, however, I will work the new schedule for $400 a week or work only 38hrs a week for the $250 she wants to pay me. And if either is unacceptable than Saturday will have to be my last day. And I hid the note in my room until I was ready to give it to her and then left for my weekend off.

That night Sir and I were invited to Lizzi's 21st b-day party so we had to stop back by my boss's house so I could change into a suitable outfit. My boss had hired a new nanny for the weekend I am off and I got to meet her then, she was an older black lady who was very nice and loved to clean. Then I found out my boss was going to have her sleep in my room and didn’t even bother to tell me! It is my room, and it was messy, had she told me she would have done that I would have cleaned my room up; it upset me that she did that, but I ignored it and changed in to one of my favorite outfits. as I changed Sir had a chance to sneak into my boss's office, which I don’t really approve of him doing so but he found out some interesting things, he told me as we were driving away that the new nanny was getting paid $250 a week and that my boss lied to me she made a ton of money with the new store and was going to get a boob job. She just found out that the new nanny is willing to work everyday and clean for only $250 a week if she could live there. So my boss was trying to drive me out.

Anyway Sir and I drove out to see Lizzi and Sir Joe. We stopped at a party store on the way and got her some gifts and balloons. We then drove out to the pool hall we have been to with them twice before and Lizzi was soo excited to see us! She ran to hug us and then we went inside and she introduced me to her friend who was surprisingly just as short as her, lol. But she was far more tomboy. Lizzi is bi and her friend is her girlfriend her husband sir Joe doesn't mind that his wife has a girlfriend too, that’s kind of cool. Sir Joe was just as strange as ever and he kept lifting up my skirt in public knowing I don’t wear any panties because Sir doesn't allow them. It was very annoying, I told Sir to talk to him about it but it didn’t really help.

We got bored at that pool house so we left and went to a country bar at a hotel near by, there was line dancing and a lot of people it was very cool! when we first walked in I was scratching Sir's back and girl came in and said it was her turn so I scratched her back too :P then Sir got me a drink Lizzi recommended called a Julie juice it was fruity and awesome!! I drank 2 of them in a row! Sir had a shot that came in a cool blinking glass called a Jeckel and Hyde it was good! It had a slightly licorice taste to it, but I liked it even though I hated licorice. Sir had 4 of them!

Lol then there was a wet t-shirt contest going on and Sir made me enter it, which I guess because I had a few drinks and one of his shots I agreed. But I don’t regret it, it was fun! We went into the back room, Lizzi and her girlfriend entered the contest as well. They handed out t-shirts and scissors to alter them so Lizzi and I were cutting up our shirts to look cute and then the girl whose back I scratched joined the contest too and she was really drunk now! lol. Then we went out to the stage and they made me go first, I had no clue what I was doing. But I got a lot of cheers! Then Lizzi went, and then her girlfriend, then another girl who was really good, then the drunken girl went and she entered by pulling her friend on a leash and using a pool stick as a prop! It was Lizzi's leash! They must have found on the bar after sir Joe took it off Lizzi. Needless to say the drunken girl won. She got $100 dollars. But the bar owners decided she had cheated using props so they gave the girl who should have won a $100 bar tab which she then used to buy a drink for all the other girls from the contest, so I got another Julie juice! :P

When it was time to go home Sir was quite smashed and I was probably too tipsy to drive but I felt fine and could walk a straight line fine so I drove. After dropping of the very drunk Lizzi, her girl friend, and sir Joe, Sir and I went home. I had to stop on the highway twice for Sir to toss his cookies on the side of the road, and then we got home and went straight to sleep. The next day Sir and I took my lil sister to sea world. We had a lot of fun riding the rides and seeing the shows and Sir let me get 3 clams that had real pearls inside and he had the pearls in settings so I had a pendant for a necklace and a pair of pearl earrings, my lil sis also got a pearl pendant. It was tons of fun! Sunday my lil sister and I hung out and went to the mall.

Then I had to go back to work. I was still annoyed with my boss and so before I went out for my night off on Monday on the new schedule I left the note for her on her bed. I went and spent the night with Sir. I returned to work in the morning and got the 7yr old ready for school then her mother woke up and said she was taking her to school even though the 4yrold was begging her to stay home and the 7yr old was begging her to let me take her to school. So my boss left the house and came home and stayed in her room, I was surprised she hadn't mentioned the note yet. But she avoided me and left for the day, later I had to drive the 4yr old to be with her father for the night, he had already picked up the 7yr old from school.

The 7yr old came to my window of the car after her father put the youngest in his car and asks me why I am moving. I'm confused at this point because I haven't told anyone in their family that I am moving and she tells me her mom told her this morning that I was moving Saturday. now I understood, then her father came over and told me the girls mother told him the same thing, so I corrected him and told him the truth that she was cutting back my pay and I couldn’t let her take advantage of me and he agreed with me he said he would have done the same and I guess now I know what her decision was from the note I left even though she has yet to talk to me about it.

So when I went out that night I told Sir all about the new developments and he reassured me that all will be ok even though I will still be in Florida for one more month without a job or income of any sort. So I went to work the next day and did my job to the best of my ability, just because I was quitting doesn't mean I should slack off. So I did the girl's laundry and played with the 4yr old and then left at 5 as per the new schedule. The next day when I came home after spending the night with Sir I found an envelope on the counter with my name written on it. So I put it in my room and went to wake up the 7yr old but she was sick and had to stay home so I set her up in bed with plenty of liquids and some medicine and I set the youngest up downstairs with a movie playing and then I grabbed the envelope and went on the back porch to read it.

It was a note from my boss. In it she said that it is not my place to give her the decision of what I will and won't do, I am the employee and I need to remember my place, she said that I had an attitude problem and she accepts that Saturday will be my last day. Then she goes on further to say that the reason she was cutting my pay is because I was doing my job poorly, I wasn't doing the checklists (which I refused to do because she made them after I was doing my job and even admitted that I was doing everything on them, they made me feel like an idiot who had to do things step by step) and I wasn't cleaning the house well enough (I was hired to be a nanny, not a maid, I cleaned my mess and the children's messes) and I didn’t discipline the kids well (yet they listen to me and they are well behaved around me, but not around her, I wonder where the real problem lies)

So basically the note says my last day is Saturday and it is my fault. You know what? Screw her. I'll be much happier without her. I feel bad for the children though, they have become quite attached to me and they already lost their father. But I suppose they will be fine. So I packed up my things and was ready to go come Saturday morning. the 7yr old was very upset, she cried and begged me to stay I did my best to console her, the 4yr old didn’t know what was happening. I promised the 7yr old I would take her to Disney the next Saturday because I had taken her sister alone one day and promised her way back then that I will take her alone one day too, and I will keep my promises, she has enough disappointment in her life with her lying mother always breaking her promises.

So my life as a nanny is done for now. I took all my things to my mothers house and left them in my room except for an over night bag of clothes and a plastic bag of toiletries. Those I took to Sir's house and I planned on staying with him until the move. Sir had a new roommate and Lydia was there for the weekend. We went to sea world again and then went to rocky horror with Lizzi and Sir Joe and one of Sir's new "toys" her name was MJ she gave me bad vibes right away, I don’t know why. But we all dressed up for the show this time and Sir put me and Lydia on a leash. The leash was a chain that connected me to Lydia and then a chain leash connected to Lydia. Because rocky horror is at a theater on city walk which is a chain of bars and clubs and because Lydia is only 19 she had to be escorted to the theater and Sir handed me the leash to escort her, which was quite funny, me holding the leash connected to her but she connected to me, lol

The show was fun then we went back to the apartment, MJ went to her home and Lizzi and sir Joe were staying over. The next day the 5 of us went to the Central Florida Fair. it was a really big fair and Sir got us all ride all day wrist bands. Lydia and I had a wonderful time acting like excited little children and riding every ride we could, lol, I had no fear that day, I was not afraid of any of the rides and I promised myself I would ride them all!(even the rides I have been terrified of my entire life!) Sir loved to play his token game; you drop a token in to push more tokens and prizes off the cliff. he spent well over $60 on that game alone, lol. Also we played a bingo game where you throw rubber balls into a box and try to get 5 in a row just like bingo. Sir won a giant stuffed radioactive man Homer Simpson and a giant stuffed Bart man, lol. Lizzi didn’t really want to go on any rides and sir Joe stayed with her the whole time, but my Sir won her a giant stuffed penguin by popping balloons with darts; that seemed to make her day! Sir also won me 4 stuffed frogs and Lydia a giant stuffed bear in a straight jacket. After the fair Lydia and I drove Lizzi and sir Joe home and then came back to Sir to sleep.

The next few days Lydia and I hung out around the apartment and with Sir when he wasn't working and then Wednesday it was time for Lydia to go home so I was going to drive her back to Tampa. We left at 10am after dropping Sir off at work and the drive went smoothly. When we got there we had time to kill before she had to go to work so we went to a near by lingerie shop and looked at corsets I found a really pretty pink lace one that looked great on me, and I tried on a pretty crystal necklace that dropped down into my cleavage and made the corset look even better! But the corset was $40 and I knew I'd have to wait to get it. Then we still had time so we went to a payless shoe store and I found a pair of black patent leather strappy heels with leopard print on the heel and under the toe, they were soo cute! And when I tried them on they made my feet look soo hot! So I called my mother and reminded her that she owed me a pair of shoes for my birthday 2 months ago and I found the perfect pair! Lol she went out and bought them the same day! Boy, that kind of makes me sound like a spoiled brat… oh, well, everyone can be one sometimes :P then Lydia had to go to work and I drove back home.

the next few days were nothing too exciting, Sir worked, I cleaned, I went to my mothers house and packed a little, I took the 7yr old I used to nanny to Disney, I hung out with my lil sister, you know the usual day to day life thing. Then one day Sir decided out of the blue that we were going to take a trip to Tampa to go to Master's Quest with Lydia, who has never been, and a new person he just met on the internet named Sammy. He told Sammy where we were going over the phone before hand, but he tried to keep it a surprise for Lydia, but as soon as he told her she would need to wear nice looking panty and bra set, she knew where we were going, she does read my journal after all, lol. we drove all the way there and picked up Lydia and went to her house to get a few things and then we went to find Sammy's house. It took us a while to find it then we got her, she seemed a very nice person, though she was very timid and quiet.

When we got there we had to redo our paperwork we did the first time because the place is under new management. While we were filling out the forms one guy came out from the play area and stared at me then when we were ready to go in this guy grabbed me by the hand and asked Sir if he could play with me since Sir had brought 3 women in. Sir gave him permission and off I went. When I got inside Lydia ran to catch up with me, she whispered she didn’t want to leave me alone with a strange guy. The guy seemed thrilled to have 2 girls to play with and now Sir can focus on getting to know Sammy. The guy took us up the stairs and into the medical exam room and decided he was going to do a role-play, with me as the patient, Lydia as the nurse and him as the doctor. I was a little weirded out by him, but I decided to play along.

First he stripped me naked and tied me to the medical table with my feet in the stirrups, then he started to "test" me for pain and pleasure tolerance by spanking and teasing my nipples with different things like spatulas and spoons and a cheese grater and other things, he played and tortured me then took Lydia to the next room and played with her on the bondage bed while I was still tied up, Sir came by at one point and gave me a kiss and said he was proud at how well I was behaving then he left me again and went back to Sammy. then the guy and Lydia came back and he tortured me some more using vibrators made of an battery powered razor with the blade removed and an electric toothbrush until I came then it was time to go.

Sir said on the way home that he wished he didn’t let that guy play with us because he seemed very inexperienced and he hated the marks the cheese grater made on Lydia and my nipples. Plus the guy was obviously cheap, lol, with the tools he used. To be honest, I didn’t really enjoy playing with the guy either, I wish Sir would have paid more attention to me knowing this would probably be the last time in a long time I would get to go to Master's Quest.

That night we stayed in a hotel, the 4 of us, but we just slept really, then the next day we were late getting Sammy home because Sir was messing around and making Lydia and me dress him before he would get out of bed and then fighting while we tried to dress him, it was annoying. Then we just went and dropped Lydia off at her house and then headed home.

The next few days were just the same as before, Sir worked, I cleaned and entertained Sir's roommate, then I took my lil sister and her friend to Disney, and I finished packing my room at my mother's house up. One night Sir and I went out to see rocky horror one more time before I go, we went to fairvilla first and I talked him into buying me a candy bracelet where all the candy tarts were shaped like penises, lol, I loved it! Then we went to a Italian restaurant for dinner, it was ok, I like olive garden more, and then we went to the dollar store where we got glow sticks and 2 kits to make glow stick balls. Then we headed to the movie. We got there early enough that we didn't have to rush and we had time to put together the glow stick balls and enjoy an ice-cream from the cinna-bun restaurant on city walk and then head to the movie and sit and meet fellow movie fans. we were standing outside the theater and not so many people have arrived yet and I slipped off my heels and stood without them for a sec, it was soo weird I realized I haven't been without heels on for almost a week aside from sleeping so I told Sir that I felt like a Barbie doll my feet felt weird out of their heels, lol, one of the other movie goers laughed at my statement, she apologized and stated that she thought what I said was cute that’s when Sir replied, "everything Mandy says is cute!" I smiled. then we walked over and started to talk to her and her friend and we had a great time, she was very nice, they loved my penis bracelet and glow balls, lol. Then it was time for the show, we tossed the glow stick balls around the theater and everyone enjoyed that and the show was just as great as always. after the movie Sir and I went home and slept, I love sleeping next to him.

Then one night Sir decided to go out to Tampa again even though we really didn't have the money to do so, he just wanted my last week in Florida to be memorable. And he wanted me to get a chance to go to Busch Gardens again before I go. So we woke up really early after I had come home late the night before, lol and we drove up there and went to the Busch Gardens water park for a few hours and then we went over to Busch Gardens and met Lydia and 3 of her guy friends we played around in the park and went on tons of rides, Sir spent too much money on the carnival games there, lol, and he wasn't feeling too well so after we left the park at 7pm we dropped him off at the hotel and went out to have fun, just me, Lydia, and the 3 guys with her.

We went to a Denny's and had dinner and one of her other friends a girl she calls snowflake met us there and then afterwards we split up into 2 groups I grabbed the cutest of Lydia's guy friends and told him he is coming in my car and dragged him to it, it was very funny! Then we went to pick up another one of Lydia's friends and we went to Lydia's 7-11 store and had icees and sodas while we sat outside at midnight and played a dare game Lydia found in an adult board game it was very funny. Then we dropped off the people and went back to the hotel and slept with Sir. The next day we were going to go back to the water park, but we over slept and then just went to take Lydia home, she had to pack anyway because she is moving into Sir's house in 2 days. On the way to drop she off we stopped at the lingerie store and Sir bought me the corset! And later he surprised me by showing me he bought the necklace too!

Then we headed back to the apartment, and went to bed. The next day Sir had to work and I went out with Sir's roommate and his mother to a bar to play pool. We played a few games and his mother and I lost them all, lol, so then we went bowling and it was funny because his mother was really good! also the lane's computer kept messing up in my favor, saying I got strikes or more pins down than I did, this really pissed him off so his mother and I kept laughing at him, it was very funny!

that night was going to be my last night to sleep with just me and Sir alone, because Lydia is moving in the next day, I really wanted Sir to play with me or give me some kind of attention, but instead he kept leaving the room and talking on his phone, so I went to sleep then he woke me up at 9am and had me drive him down to Kissimmee so he could surprise Amy. Turns out he had gotten a call from a friend who works at the hotel Amy lives in and he said Amy had been getting back into drugs and messing up big-time, and she being Sir's slave, it was something he needed to deal with. So we went to her hotel and I dropped him off and went to McDonalds for something to eat then I came back and waited in the parking lot for Sir to call me. When he did he said that Amy wasn't opening her door and his friend gave him the key, but she had the security lock on, but he saw her passed out on the bed from too much drug use the night before, and no amount of yelling or banging brought her around so he gave up and then he and I drove home, just in time to see Lydia finish moving all her things in and for Sir and I to meet her parents before they took off to return to Tampa. The 3 of us then took a nap until Sir had to go to work and then Lydia and I hung out until it was time to pick him up from work and we helped him close his store.

Then Tuesday came and Lydia came to my mother's house to help us move we didn’t do much, everyone seemed to be having fun hitting golf balls on the back porch we had my mother's friends Allen and John helping us and Allen's daughter's boyfriend and his friend also helping us. the guys were collecting golf balls from the lake behind our house which was really low this time of year and was only knee deep and Allen crossed it to look on the island, then after he came back he took the younger guys out with him and then after they got back and hit all the golf balls back into the woods the boys (who were 17) went back on the island alone. about 20 min later they haven't come back yet we started to call them back shouting their names and whistling, we got no reply so we started to search for the man hour later, Lydia and I drive to the other side of the woods and started calling for them and we walked the entire perimeter of the woods calling them finally we found someone who saw them come out of the woods so we expanded our search to the neighborhoods surrounding the woods and it was going on 5 hours of searching, my mother had called the cops and my father just continued to pack the truck up. finally about half an hour later we got a call on our cells saying they had been found, they had actually just found the house them selves by finding they way to a publix in another neighborhood and asking where the golfing community was and then walking through every subdivision in my neighborhood until they found the big truck, we were all relieved. By that time it was soo late Lydia and I had to take off.

we then went and picked up Sir from his work and we headed back to the apartment, Sir had been telling me all week that I will be leaving Florida with a really red bottom. In a way I was really looking forward to it, Sir hadn't played with me in a long time. He also jokingly said he was going to lock me in the closet so I couldn't leave him. But that night we went to bed with no play. When we woke up in the morning Sir had to go to work and before he left he grabbed me and put a pair of buckle leather cuffs on me and put me in the closet and locked the door and had Lydia drive him to work, I knew he would send Lydia back to let me out but I unbuckled the cuffs myself and could have easily gotten out of the closet, I knew how to take the sliding door off the hinges, but I decided to wait for Lydia. And sure enough 5min later Lydia came and unlocked the door. Then she told me Sir wanted me to see him before I left so the 2 of us drove to Sir's work and he came out and hugged me and he took off the tags on my collar and then he handed me my original red tag I got on the night I was collared, but he kept my pink ones, he said I do not belong to him anymore but he will always be there for me, though farther away, I was soo sad! It's like loosing my world, I was decollared.

Then Lydia and I went back to the apartment where she helped me pack up all my things and load them into my car, then it was time for me to say goodbye to her. I gave her hugs and promised to call. Then I was off on my way there my older sister called and I talked to her she is still fighting with my mother and refuses to apologize for her actions. When my mother found out she was quite upset so I called my older sister and asked if I could hangout with my nieces before I left, she agreed and then I was on my way to pick them up. I stopped back by Sir's apartment to get my pillows I for got and to say goodbye to him one more time and then I went to get my nieces. When I brought them back to see my mother she brightened up soo much! She loved to see her granddaughters! My older sister swore my mother would never see them again, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, lol. so with my nieces over we finished packing up the truck and we were then on our way, first I had to drop my nieces back off with my older sister, I'm so glad I got to see them again, I am soo attached to them.

Then I was driving out of Orlando, it was nice yet sad at the same time. But I'll be ok. The drive was very simple, go to the end of the 408 and go north on I-75 until I'm there. I was following my mother the whole way, my twin and mom in her car and me, my lil sis, and her friend in my car, her friend was coming up with us to help us get moved in and to vacation. It was a long drive, and the fact that I already had a full day of heavy lifting and running around made me quite drowsy so we stopped frequently and I got energy drinks to help keep me up and when we got near, my mother decided to get us a hotel to sleep in. the hotel sucked, it was under construction on the other side of our room so an hour after we all fell asleep they came in for their morning work and were banging and pounding away, only my lil sister managed to sleep through it.

So we left at 11am and headed to our new house, the area was incredibly beautiful! There were hills and trees everywhere, we crossed many railroad tracks (I hold metal at each crossing for luck :P lol superstitions) and each house had big yards, we came to my new house and it was huge! It was a beautiful pale yellow and brick and we have a 4 car garage, 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. The garage is attached to the basement which is also our living and game room, and one of the bathrooms, and laundry room, and up on the first floor is the bed rooms, 2 bathrooms, a large kitchen, large dining room and formal living room with fireplace. the place is big we don’t have enough furniture yet, after we spent all day and the next day unloading the truck we still have all the echo's of an empty home, lol, we need more furniture!

well, living in Tennessee is very different from Florida, everyone here has a thick accent and is very polite, and everyone waves and stops to help if your car brakes down, when we were struggling to get the refrigerator into the house a man stops out of the blue and offers to help, I have never had anything like that happen in Florida. Also the scenery here is amazing! when I went walking in my neighborhood, just a mile and a half away is a 2 mile nature trail I stumbled upon, it is a sidewalk that winds deep through the woods with a babbling brook running alongside it and the trail ends at the county library, it was amazingly beautiful plus its about a 6-7 mile walk to go down the trail and them back home, I really enjoy it. I took my lil sister's friend with me a couple of time on my walk, my lil sister despises walks so she stayed home, but we did other new thing around town.

my family was playing tacky tourists and doing all the fun things to do around the area, we went to a local park and swam in the pond and drove through all the trails and explored new roads at each chance, we went and explored downtown Chattanooga which is much better than down town Orlando, we parked and walked across the Tennessee river, and I got grape flavored cotton candy! And then my twin brother had to fly back to Orlando, I will miss him a ton and I can't wait for the day he moves up here too. But we still had my lil sister's friend around so we continued our exploring.

we went to rock city one day and it was really neat I had a great time going through the trails and caverns and tormenting my lil sis on the rope bridge (she is scared of bridges) and then we went to point park which has a trail down the mountain and my lil sister's friend and I climbed up high on all the rocks! I realized I am a lot more adventurous than I ever was and I thank Sir for that. ^_^

Spending time with my family is great, though I am growing lonely for friends of my own here. I have Lori only 4 hours away, but that is four hours away. I don’t have any friends here yet. I assume I will get some once I get a job, which I'll admit I have been slacking off a little and have not looked for one as of yet. I call Sir every night, but I am sad every time I hang up, it's just not the same. I do wish Sir had spanked me before I left like he said he was going to. I know I moved up here by choice so I can be with my family, I'd go crazy without them, but at the same time I miss my friends and Sir.

I'm just taking things day by day, I have taken to walking daily, I walk 5-6 miles a day, and I have been watching what I eat, I figure I should get back to losing weight, I lost almost 100lbs before I met Sir and I haven't lost too much since then, so I have given myself a goal to lose 3 more dress sizes by Christmas, that will give me something better to focus on than my recent lack of a social life.

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